The Krispian Curve

After years together of research and unprecedented geekiness i present to you the krispian curve. The curve derives its name from its inventor Krispy and its derived from a law.





First law of Krispy: The answer you get from a girl on asking 'THE' question is a function of time spent with her.





Second law of Krispy: The behaviour of this function can be mapped as a curve which we shall refer to as the Krispian curve.

Now the curve here represents the way to achieve a life devoid of imposed celibacy. As most of us(guys specifically) have experienced that we know what the right questions are that we should ask the women that we may have developed a soft corner for but some how they manage to come up with an answer which is correct in its own right but not the answer you were necessarily looking for. Well look no further. OK actually look a little upwards into the image(sorry for the small font size).

In the diagram the y axis represents the magnitude of closeness you share with the girl and the x axis represents the amount of time you have spent with her. As most scientists do(and this is real science) we shall start at the beginning.

At the foot of the curve where it says independent existence it actually refers to the time when you were born and very young and didn't know each other(yes BEFORE puberty if you were going to ask that).Hence the height of the curve represents the closeness with the girl and it is at a minimum in the beginning.

Then time moves in the positive x direction( we grow older..) and you meet the girl who you surprisingly and suddenly cannot live without(yes.....after puberty). Hence as represented your closeness increases but its still immaterial coz all you do is think about her and not do anything about it.

That's a good thing coz next stage is the stage of the question. You know it.......she doesn't.....and you feel the impossible urge to impose this piece of wisdom on her. Well brothers hold your horses. As we see from the curve love life in today's scenario is merely an optimisation problem. If you are early then you are half done....if you are late then you are toast.

The most popular answers that we guys get from girls is actually a competition between the 2 most popular.

1. I haven't looked at you in that way yet
2. i thought we are good friends

Well if you may have noticed there is a way to predict the answer . From the curve we know that if you are early you receive option 1 as a response and if you take too much time you receive option 2. We might hate it but its inevitable.

But all is not lost. There is a stage (very fine and narrow) between the two dreaded answers where lies the truth when she wants you to ask her the question(Highlighted in red). If you manage to identify and ask the question at that optimised position the answers range from

1. A smile
2. a "yes"
3. a look(ya ya we all know)

Now that we know when to ask the question before i end the question remains ... how do we know that its time. Now that is a question beyond answers. What i follow works sometimes. Find out from the person who knows best......

HER!!!!!!

to blog or not to blog

And at last here i am. I stare at this blank piece of screen( ok maybe page would have been a more classical choice of connotation but it is what it is..and its a screen) and i see that i am quite literally at a loss of words. I mean this is unlike essay writing in school where you knew what to write or more accurately you were told what to write. But here i have the freedom to write just about anything and that simply leaves me dumbfounded and at a loss of words. OOOHHHH the abundance of choices. And the funniest part is when you can write just about anything you end up writing a huge lot about absolutely nothing.(I might say "you " just this now and then but actually i mean "me".. i have been told i am really full of myself). Again what i did was i took some time to figure out where this entire piece was going and i realised not anywhere in particular. That sort of makes me think if i dont know where i am going with this , where should i stop? A lot of you guys reading this might think 'right about now' would be a pertinant choice but cut me some slack people..this is my first blog.

Again i get that feeling of purpose as if i should do something worthwhile with this opportunity that i have called blogging but well my mind isnt my slave...(actually at times i think it has a mind of its own) so it just strays about thinking what it wants to think and imparting bits and pieces of it onto me. I wanted to end this now but it wouldnt be fair..... right? i just started a new paragraph.So coming back to it (what exactly im not too sure but for clarity lets just call it 'it') i think blogging was a good idea after all. Its a place where even nothingness is entertained as if it were something really substantial.

So as i start my second para i shall go in a blaze of glory that i have blogged and i have blogged my heart out. And to you if you have read this far...."I'll be back"